the virtue of slog

It's slow going these days. It's like, I can feel life piling on the "experience." I can feeling it growing on my back, trying to weigh me down with all sorts of mental and physical baggage. And I try to stand up straight, but not too much. Just trying to keep my knees slightly bent, and my head foreward.

This blog...gives me a headache. I don't want to specialize like I've been told to do. I don't want it to be just about me, or just about my thoughts. I am not sure I can yet distinguish between those two. I am a very subjective person, even in the most objective sense. So, let's just get on with it, I suppose. That's old ground which I'll retread later.

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There's this amazing formality in so many people's writing in the blogosphere. In so many respectable blogs, there's an editorial voice being used-- personal yet detatched. I am on a different wavelength when it comes to this new medium. It doesn't seem to provoke in me any sense of respect or formality. It is too easy, too casual, for me to find it credible. It might be why I'm falling behind the times, but according to Mark I'm not the only one. People form friendships, rivalries, cliques, and clubs all in this Web 2.0 universe. Maybe I find it requring more trust in these computer devices than I'm ready to hand over.

That's not to say I've never "e-logged" before. For years, I had one of those postable journals before this (I hate calling it OpenDiary for the pettiness of its girlie-sounding name). Yet, that was explicitly my opinion. I could have posted encyclopedia articles on there, but no one would even think of citing it. Now, universities have to explicity ban the use of Wikipedia as a reference source. But it's user-driven! Where did all of this trust in our fellow e-stranger come from? A true sociological question of the 21st century.

So, give me some time, and I'll open up...perhaps. I have to situate myself better in this e-vironment (oh, the bad jokes mean I am getting comfortable). The first hurdle is figuring out how the hell to say what is lodged in the neurons. The second is figuring out if those thoughts will be okay out here, in the open, for everyone (who may stumble by my blog) to see.

"Sometimes I panic--what if nobody who finds out who I am?"
--Billy Joel, Big Man On Mulberry Street