Long time, no blog

So, here we are...the week of my birthday. A little disappointing, really. 22...the beginning of the "old birthdays." Kind of a downer, in a way, but I usually don't look upon my birthday as this ultra special thing. Every day that I'm alive, unenslaved, can see something beautiful when I wake up, and learn or do something interesting is a complete and total miracle of the universe.

That my mother birthed me is a remarkable thing. But that the universe created a conscious entity purely based on the fundamental physical laws is something wholly more than remarkable--it's unspeakably unimaginable. But, alas, here we are.

I've got nothing to say, really. Nothing worth saying, so all this ultra-intellectual stuff is just philosophical philler (ha-ha, I'm a stinker). My life has been packed and compartamentalized, just like I told an old friend not to be. How tables have changed. But it's the only way I can operate: A third of my time is devoted to school--attendence in class, which I've been rather good about this semester, and avoidance of working ahead; a third to science writing for the alligator--which, with mixed happiness, seems to be almost working out; and an (unequal and smaller) third to my corporate sales job--which is so mind-bendingly opposite from what I think I should be doing, that it's only that odd sort of faith that I have in the universe that is keeping me going to that office. That and they're going to start paying me a small sum.

So, that all being said...I really think life is good. The busyness is good for me, it's how I always want it. The days are packed--for hopefully good things.

It's odd being a senior again. Feels nothing like it did the first time around. Well, not too much like it. There's that distinct, murky sensation when I think about the future, just like the way I felt before leaving high school. Yet, this time has attached to it a kind of fear about a precipice lurking in the murk, a sheer cliff that I'm being moved towards by the accelerating push of Time.

I am, of course, concerned that I'm not concerned like so many of my friends, about GREs and graduate schools. I'm thinking about all of this, of course, but in a different way. To be precise, I feel like I'm thinking about it, as opposed to the many people who are doing it reflexively as if the only option now is...whatever, grad school, med school, etc etc.

I will probably not be attending any such establishment immediately after my undergrad career. Not unless I'm given very good reason. And I'm sure I don't see any just yet.

Until next time.