And Dawkins said: "Non fiat sententiam."

I heard Richard Dawkins say something most interesting on the radio the other day. He said that the universe does not owe us meaning, that humans often believe things because they'd be "nice." He called this a weakness in the human psyche (referring to many people's belief in a higher power or universal purpose because "they couldn't bear to live in a world without it"). Although I thought his arguments against God were spot-on and extremely insightful, I have to disagree with his assessment of this perceived "weakness."

I think that, many times, when people believe things because it would make them happier, it's often resulted in humans vastly exceding their previous bounds. Sure there have been negative consequences due to the fuzzy nature of humanity's hope-reality divide. Yet, I would postulate that our slight tendancy for being optimistically deluded has helped our species not see just how lost, how fragile, how slight, and how ultimately random our existence is. It's helped us believe in our own ability to change and thrive, even when we should've known how bad the odds were. And I think it will help us in the present and future when we have to believe in our own survival despite the limited carrying capacity and eventual collapse of our current ecosystem.

I think humanity's evolution of some rose-colored glasses was a veritable competitive edge. Wouldn't a creature who often irrationally believes in itself, in its own abilities and fortunes beat out a similarly matched, but more rationally-brained creature? But, in good human fashion, that's something I'd like to believe.

I could've swore that there was a way

The Path is not at all a path. I knew that was an inaccurate way of looking at it from the beginning.

What is a path?

A worn way through a surrounding wilderness. A passive guide used to get from one place to another. A constructed route which might take some effort to follow, but certainly none to see.

That's exactly what a path is.

The Path that I'm on, though, is not at all a path because there is no worn way in this wilderness, the guide is not passive, the guide is my own sense of judgement, the route is not constructed but hidden within the gray folds of my brain, and The Path takes great effort to see.

I'm not really into it yet, though. I am merely on the outskirts. Looking back, I see the old way. The old way back is almost a joke now. How I ever imagined myself on it, I will never know.

But so how do I operate then? What am I doing on a daily basis? I am looking at everything very carefully, more carefully than I ever looked at anything as a physics student. I am seeing a lot of things pre-judgement...well, a lot more than I ever used to. I've broke down a lot of my own self-imposed judgements about the world and my place in it.

When you have to make the road you have to make the road you're on, while you're traveling it, you get slowed down. You don't leave as quick from the town you're in, you can get so much momentum that you don't appreciate the scenery. It's a good slowness for now.

Some things, back and back they come. I'm so far from where I was, and yet here I am, back there again. When x=Me, then Change=meaning. Path=null set of meaning. Path=No real change. Change does not happen on a path.

What's kind of tricky now is being able to recognize where there is an old path, and I know when I have been fooled into considering a reversal. Like when I find myself looking up graduate school for classics or something like that. I mean, that could be The Path, but if it was then I think I would know it by now. I have gotten better at reading it, I think. But we'll see.

Right now, I have some "plans." Here's how it all stands now:

1) PLI: The beloved start-up, which I fell in with and quickly found myself attached to. So much potential, quite a bit of risk. Small beginnings, hopefully grand ends. The uncertainty crackles with "pathlessness." Quite obviously I'm drawn.

2)L'academia dei grandi cuori: Un grupo delle scuole a Phoenix, AZ che non potrei idearle piu meglio per se. Il loro programma di studi e basato nella scuola di filosofia, pensiero, bellezza, e in somma La Grande Qualita: Un'educazione classica, con Il Latine, La storia medioevale, La storia antica, ma anche La fisica, Il chimico, Il Calculo, etc. Una mescela bellisima.

3)Some form of education piu alta, I suppose.

I'm aware what disadvantages come with being off the old way. I see when my friends succeed down planned roads, when they make big moves, and celebrate their hard work. But even I am surprised when I don't envy them at all. I'm genuinely happy. I'm glad they could make it work, because there was not a chance nell'inferno that I could.